One Day Our Country Will Be Corruption Free
Teacher Asked Santa - Which Tense Is This ?
Santa - thinks for a moment and says " Future Impossible Tense"
Teacher - angry - Who Taught You This
Santa - AajTak
Future Impossible Tense
One Day Our Country Will Be Corruption Free
Teacher Asked Santa - Which Tense Is This ?
Santa - thinks for a moment and says " Future Impossible Tense"
Teacher - angry - Who Taught You This
Santa - AajTak
KBC and Santa Banta
Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and he still has 2 of his lifelines with him - “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.
Santa Singh is playing the 13th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next…
Amitabh Bachchan : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…
Santa Singh gets Tensed…
Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan?
Your options are…
A: Amitabh Bachchan
B: Dharmendra
C: Amzad Khan (Gabbar)
D: Sanjeev Kumar
Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He's quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]
But Santa is surprisingly still confused…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.
Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.
Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?
Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…
Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…
Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:
B: Dharmendra
C: Amzad Khan (Gabbar)
Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…
Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too – Phone A Friend…
Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??
Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…
Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan [Thanks to Idea ]…
Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?”
receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..
GUESS WHY ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?
Retirement Policy
I got a call for RETIREMENT POLICY and this is how discussion took place -
GIRL - Sir if you invest 4000/- per month you will get 1 cr after your retirement.
My ans. :- Nice offer but make it reverse. Give me 1cr today and take 4000/- PM from me till my RETIREMENT..
She simply disconnected the call....
The Tale Of Onion
If things are re-written, this is how it would be:
- There was a time when people cried only while chopping onions. Now they cry even while buying onions
- Thappad se darr nahi lagta hai sahab, PYAAZ se lagta hai - Sonakshi Sinha from Dabangg 1
- A friend bought 3Kg onions and became the new hero of the society. He updated this on Facebook and got 857 likes on his status update.
- The Lays Cream & Onion flavor is gonna be just Cream
- Now I know that she is really crying because she can't afford onions
- Rupee is falling, onion price rising. Union Bank of India should change to 'Onion Bank of India
- Salman Khan's next block buster - "Onion Kapda Makaan"
- There are only two kind of Indians. One who can afford Onions and other who cant.
- Breaking News - Sonia Gandhi has deposited 100 KG onions in her swiss bank account.
- Breaking News - Thieves steal 5 KG onions from a posh locality house close to M.G. Road
- Onion hits 100 rupee mark in 3 days. BLOCKBUSTER! - Taran Adarsh
- Tanishq Jewellers Exchange Offer - Bring 2 onion rings and get a daimond ting - Bring 4 onion rings and a daimond bracelet
- "Yaar, such a show off Pyaaz is. Main "batata" hoon - Potatoes
- Namak swadaansuar aur Pyaaz aukatanusar
- Boy to vendor: 1 kilo pyaaz Dena. 2 aunties talking behind him , ladka achhe ghar ka lagta hai, apni pinky ke liye kaisa rahega
You have a nasty one too ??? Share your thoughts in the comment box
Mercedes Benz Ener-G-Force
Mercedes-Benz Ener-G-Force concept is a G-Class for the future
Looking to create an entrant for this year's LA Design Challenge, Mercedes-Benz came up with the Ener-G-Force to fit the theme of Highway Patrol Vehicle 2025. Mercedes-Benz says that the styling of the Ener-G-Force builds on many cues from the Mercedes-Benz G-Class, and like the original G-Wagen introduced in 1979 as a civilian version of a military vehicle, it didn't take much imagination to envision a civilian version of the Ener-G-Force. Of course, it wouldn't be a futuristic concept vehicle without some sort of advanced powertrain, and the concept unveiled today delivers on this front...
Humour-Painted Bathroom Floor & Ceiling
YOU GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE.
THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKERS' LOUNGE.
An Awesome Toilet!
THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER IT!
10 Commandments For Working Hard
1 - Never walk without a document in your hands.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2 - Use computers to look busy.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat, and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
3 - Keep a messy desk.
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4 - Use voice mail.
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because they want you to do work for them. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice-mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5 - Look impatient & annoyed.
One should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
6 - Leave the office late.
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important e-mail at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35 p.m., 7:05 a.m., etc.) and during public holidays.
7 - Use sighing for effect.
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
8 - Opt for the stacking strategy.
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9 - Build your vocabulary.
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember; they don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
10 - Don't get caught.
MOST IMPORTANT: Don't forward this page's URL to your boss by mistake!
