Future Impossible Tense

One Day Our Country Will Be Corruption Free

Teacher Asked Santa - Which Tense Is This ?

Santa - thinks for a moment and says " Future Impossible Tense"

Teacher - angry - Who Taught You This

Santa - AajTak

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KBC and Santa Banta

Santa Singh has answered 12 out of the 15 questions correct and he still has 2 of his lifelines with him -  “50-50″ and “Phone a Friend”.

Santa Singh is playing the 13th Question now which is for 25 Lacs. Let’s see what happens next… 

Amitabh Bachchan : Apka 13th question 25 lakh ke liye, yeh raha aapke saamne aapki Computer Screen par…

Santa Singh gets Tensed…

Amitabh Bachchan : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan? 

Your options are…
A: Amitabh Bachchan
B: Dharmendra
C: Amzad Khan (Gabbar)
D: Sanjeev Kumar

Amitabh Bachchan : Toh Santa Singh Jee kya Jawaab hai aapka? [He's quite sure that Santa will opt for option A]

But Santa is surprisingly still confused…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aapke paas abhi bhi do life line baaki hai… 50-50 and phone a friend. Agar aap chahe to unhe use kar sakte hain. Wo aap hi ke liye banaayi gayee hai.

Santa Singh : I think it is A, but I’m not sure.

Amitabh Bachchan : Not sure, Hmmm… Aap kya karna chahenge?

Santa Singh : I would like to use 50-50…

Amitabh Bachchan : Ok Computer Jee, Kripya 2 galat javab mita deejiye…

Computer deletes two names, and leaves the following options:

B: Dharmendra
C: Amzad Khan (Gabbar)

Now Amitabh Bachchan gets confused and worriedly thinks if the Computer is actually right or has got some bug!. Santa Singh gets all the more Confused after the 50-50 Lifeline…

Santa Singh : I would like to use my last life line too – Phone A Friend…

Amitabh Bachchan : Aap kisse baat karna chahenge??

Santa Singh : Main aapki Misej [Mrs.] Jaya Bachan Ji ko phone karna chahoonga…

Amitabh Bachchan Faints !!! But the Call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan [Thanks to Idea ]…

Santa Singh : “Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?”

receiving reply from JAYA Santa faints..

GUESS WHY ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
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Jaya Bachchan ask’s him ” What are the options?

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Retirement Policy

I got a call for RETIREMENT POLICY and this is how discussion took place -

GIRL -  Sir if you invest 4000/- per month you will get 1 cr after your retirement.

My ans. :- Nice offer but make it reverse. Give me 1cr today and take 4000/- PM from me till my RETIREMENT..

She simply disconnected the call....

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The Tale Of Onion

If things are re-written, this is how it would be:

• There was a time when people cried only while chopping onions. Now they cry even while buying onions
• Thappad se darr nahi lagta hai sahab, PYAAZ se lagta hai - Sonakshi Sinha from Dabangg 1
• A friend bought 3Kg onions and became the new hero of the society. He updated this on Facebook and got 857 likes on his status update.
• The Lays Cream & Onion flavor is gonna be just Cream
• Now I know that she is really crying because she can't afford onions
• Rupee is falling, onion price rising. Union Bank of India should change to 'Onion Bank of India
• Salman Khan's next block buster - "Onion Kapda Makaan" 
• There are only two kind of Indians. One who can afford Onions and other who cant.
• Breaking News - Sonia Gandhi has deposited 100 KG onions in her swiss bank account.
• Breaking News - Thieves steal 5 KG onions from a posh locality house close to M.G. Road
• Onion hits 100 rupee mark in 3 days. BLOCKBUSTER! - Taran Adarsh
• Tanishq Jewellers Exchange Offer - Bring 2 onion rings and get a daimond ting - Bring 4 onion rings and a daimond bracelet
• "Yaar, such a show off Pyaaz is. Main "batata" hoon - Potatoes
• Namak swadaansuar aur Pyaaz aukatanusar
• Boy to vendor: 1 kilo pyaaz Dena. 2 aunties talking behind him , ladka achhe ghar ka lagta hai, apni pinky ke liye kaisa rahega

You have a nasty one too ??? Share your thoughts in the comment box

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